Off the Top of My Head

A recent late-night Facebook status update led to the creation of this entry, but it's actually been a good 17 years in the making.  That's roughly how long I've been coloring my hair, and those initial salon visits are what introduced me to the world of non-Finesse and Suave brand shampoos and conditioners.  It's been one hell of an exploratory ride since.

I should start with a disclaimer, however:  I have never been considered someone with "gorgeous hair."  You know who you are, you lucky devils.  My friends Char and Kellio, my mother, my coworker Leah, even The Bolivian had the kind of luscious locks that people stop, stare, whisper and reach out to try and "pat pat" when they think they can get away with it.  Mine was always just this side of obnoxious...cowlicks everywhere, kind of a sage-green undertone (which I later learned is called "ash"), and requiring major attacks with the hair dryer and curling iron to look remotely presentable.  I also have had to deal with the following inevitable set of conditions:

• If it makes my hair shiny and manageable, my scalp flakes.
• If my scalp doesn't flake, my hair looks like crap.
• If scalp is fine and hair is pretty, the smell is so overwhelming that I can't bear to leave it in for even one night.

Yes, I'm a delicate flower whose nose and skin do not take kindly to attacks of the scented nature.  So this post is coming to you from someone not gifted with natural follicular awesomeness and is not to be construed as an "If you do this, you'll look like MEEEEE!" kind of deal.  I'm just sharing the fruits of way too much money and frustration spent in the pursuit of trying to figure out what makes my hair tick.

Another disclaimer/backstory:  a big part of this journey was motivated by the discovery, around age 30 or so, that I have curly hair.  I'm still unsure whether this has always been the case and I just blew the life out of it previously...

...or whether taking a year's worth of Depo-Provera shots might've actually chemically changed my hair (in the same way that pregnant women sometimes sport new textures during gestation).  In support of the former, my dad did have natural waves/curls, my mom only knew how to style straight hair (something curlies with non-curly parents deal with all the time) and it did this when I was a baby:

So it's not impossible that this is the natural state of affairs for my head, but I'll never know for sure. 

Okay, now to the meat of this whole deal...after all the products that have washed through my fingers, which ones should you check out and why?  Two of my biggest resources once I got savvy to the need for change were The NaturallyCurly website and this book.  Now keep in mind that if you are a glorious straighty, the principles can still apply to you.  It just happens that more products are made to work well with the characteristics of straight hair and beauty schools rarely train curly cut/style techniques; therefore the quest for satisfaction in the face of a dearth of options has led to a Spiral Uprising!  But the majority of this information is about overall hair health, regardless of texture, and is useful to anyone with an eye toward being sweeter to themselves.

There are categories of chemical ingredients in nearly all shampoos and conditioners that really have no business being on your head.  This blog post is one of the best I've seen for detailing the exact "scientific" names of the no-no's as you'd see them in the Ingredients list, but for a brief primer, you should avoid these:

Sulfates:  These are detergents/surfactants that cause the rich lather we all love to see on commercials and in our shower stalls.   However, they're extremely drying and harsh on hair, and you can actually get your scalp clean without them.  Anything ending in -ate is a likely suspect, a la "sodium laureth sulfate."

Parabens:  Chemical preservatives and anti-microbials, but with research indicating possible carcinogenic effects.  This article does a great job explaining these nefarious substances...you'll often see them as "methylparabens" etc. in the ingredients list.

Silicones:  Now here is where there will be some differing of opinions and experience.  Silicones make hair shiny and smooth; pretty sure the Sleekeazy's Hair Potion Hermione used had 'cones in it.  In small doses, they can work wonders, particularly for events under lights.  But they build up and when they do, all that glory turns to limp, unmanageable, hard and dull-feeling hair.  Curlies tend to have greater porosity and so suffer the ill effects more quickly, but 'cones will catch up to everyone in the end.  I recommend avoiding them in your daily shampoo/conditioner and keeping a pro-cone styling product present for special occasions.

***

Those are the worst offenders, and what follows are just my personal issues.  

Proteins:  This is a pretty recent discovery, but I'm 99% sure that the flaking and dry-ass ends I've been dealing with lately are manifestations of my hair HATING protein in my 'poo and conditioner.  I wonder if this is because I still try to follow a modified South Beach diet and ingest a lot of protein anyway; it might just be too much overall.  Some people need keratin/protein treatments, particularly after processing for color or perms, but I think I may have snapped in the final piece of my personal hair jigsaw puzzle.  (Unfortunately all but roughly six of the bottles I currently have at home contain protein, so Freddie will be getting another delivery shortly.)  How do you know if you're having the same issue?  This informative post about the difference between over-moisturizing and over-proteining (just made that up) your hair, complete with photos, is excellent.  But the most succinct answer I've read is "If your hair feels mushy and limp, too much conditioner.  If it's brittle and breaking, too much protein."  Watch out for "amino acids," anything ending with -ein and even "hydrolyzed ____" in the ingredients list.  

Shea Butter and Aloe Vera:  Both are extremely popular moisturizing ingredients, especially in the organic/natural products section.  I have an allergic reaction to shea and get itchy with too much aloe, so yay my scalp. A lot of people do just fine with these, but since I'd isolated them as problematic, they could be for someone else as well.

Oils:  Another "some people swear by these" category that my hair just despises.  I've tried V05 Hot Oil treatments, olive oil, banana and avocado hair masques, argan oil (the new hotness), neem seed oil, you name it.  And my hair goes, "Hey, want to see my impression of a straw pile?", crosses its arms and refuses to behave for at least three days afterward.

***

Having dispensed with the "Ingredients Complaint Department," let me end this with a list of my current go-to products (starred), some that might work for people with different hair, and links all around. 

Products:

*Jessicurl Cleansing Cream:  You can order any of her products in either of two scents OR unscented, which makes me love her even though she has a lot of aloe and shea floating around.  This doesn't lather much so I may alternate with a slightly more scrubby shampoo for clarifying, but so far it's working well.

Scruples White Tea Restorative Shampoo and Conditioner:  good for color preservation, pleasant and not overwhelming scent, tends to build up on me after repeated use.

Trader Joe's Tea Tree Tingle:  Helps with flakes but is a little harsh on hair by virtue of the mint oils drying things out a bit.  A good once a month clarifier if needed.

Mop Top Gentle Shampoo and Daily Conditioner:  Smells really great, feels excellent on the hair and the first time I use it, it's fab.  But there are proteins, so second use is all downhill for this girl.  If you aren't protein sensitive, I highly recommend it.

*Kinky-Curly Knot Today Conditioner:  Very basic ingredients, may not be moisturizing enough in the long run and has an overpowering scent if used as a leave-in.  I'm alternating it with:

*Deva Curl One Condition: which is the product line developed by the author of the Curly Girl handbook linked above.  You can check out her entire line with faith in the ingredient integrity but her 'poos make my scalp itch and I haven't figured out why yet.  (I'm also probably still looking for my best daily conditioner, but these two seem to be doing okay together for now.)

Curl Junkie has a lot of excellent products but they're for people with heavier, more sturdy and less porous hair than mine.  The Bolivian would've been an excellent target audience but he refused to try them for reasons known only to himself.

Kinky-Curly also has a shampoo and conditioner for kids that I want to try. When next there is money in the banana stand, I'm going to head to Whole Foods and see if they still have it in stock.

Keep in mind that I have tried (and this is not exaggerating) nearly every high- and low-end product on the shelves of your local multi-store.  Biolage, Nexxus, Paul Mitchell, Suave, Pantene, Bumble & Bumble, TIGI, L'Oreal, Kerastase, ISO, Aussie, Tresemme, even Mane & Tail...you name it, it's been on my head.  That's what happens when the combination of naive youth and pre-internet research starts flailing around trying to fix something, like shaking a pile of coat hangers vigorously to untangle them.  Hopefully, if nothing else, detailing the chaos makes it easier for someone else to avoid it.

Some final tips from a non-curly, long hair-specific forum, for whichever side of this fence you land on:

• Your nutrition is important for your hair too; take a multivitamin and eat a balanced diet with lots of fruits and veggies.
• Wash and rinse on as cold a setting as you can stand.  This preserves color longer and adds shine to your hair.
• Sleep on a satin pillow case (keeps cuticle roughing to a minimum)
• Don't sleep with hair loose (braids or buns instead)
• Wear protective updos, especially when exercising (NOT ponytails, the ends get damaged)
• No heat styling. Ever.  (Ed. note:  well, good luck with that one, most of the world)
• No brushing; combing only with a wide tooth wooden comb
• No damaging hair toys (soft elastics with no metal, smooth wooden hairsticks without any sharp edges etc.)
• Research stylists/salons and trust your gut when in the chair.  You know your hair's behavior better than they do; don't let them intimidate you into something you don't want.